I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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