I didn't shave. On purpose
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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