should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
