This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
