im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
