There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
