Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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