that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
