is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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