Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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(301): View more from Maryland

guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye

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(805): View more from California

there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

You sound pretty unsure about all of this.

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(210): View more from Texas

It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here

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(347): View more from New York

Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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(510): View more from California

I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.

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