Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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