Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(443): View more from Maryland

The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?

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(812): View more from Indiana

You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch

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(914): View more from New York

Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed

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