Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
