My nipple is on Facebook.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize