K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i came on her dog
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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