So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize