it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
