new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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