I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found puke in my bra..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
