Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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