i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
