She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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