I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
