His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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