Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
