ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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