she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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