Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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