He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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