There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dignity is for republicans.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
jump out the window naked night went bad
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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