I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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