When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
