I want to have your abortion
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Randomize
