Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
