As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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