Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
