Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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