That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
