Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
