you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
