just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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