Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
