I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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