i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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