There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
