Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
