this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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