Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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