I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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