I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize