I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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