just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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