Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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