Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
