So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
