Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want nice things and good sex
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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