i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
