Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
