Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
