Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
