Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize